Vietnam's Biggest Surprise

Make yourselves comfortable, this could be another long'un.

Jeremy Clarkson, upon seeing Halong Bay, described it as 'Vietnam's biggest surprise.' After seeing Halong Bay I can say with certainty that that statement is the best description of Halong bay. You can look at millions of pictures and read thousands of books and nothing will prepare you for your first sight of the thousands of karst islands towering above the sea. But I'm getting ahead of myself. I first need to write a little about Hanoi, the capital of Vietnam.

A back alley in Hanoi, before sunset

The easiest way to describe Hanoi would be to compare it to a similar city, in this case the best comparison would be HCMC. Hanoi is nothing like Saigon. Comparison done. About the only thing Hanoi has in common with HCMC is the craziness. Hanoi is at full throttle all day and most of the night. Sadly, the similarities end there. Hanoi lacks the charm that is so abundant in HCMC. It is much more business-like and the attitude of the people reflects that. Basically Hanoi is all the craziness of HCMC with none of the smiles and laughs. And everything is 50% more expensive than in the south.

On Wednesday morning, bright and early a bus came and whisked us off to Halong Bay for our 2 day cruise through the karsts. We jumped on the boat at midday and had lunch on our way to the first stop on the tour, 2 huge caves full of stalagmites and stalactites. The cave is one of the first limestone islands you come to, so a full view of the other karsts was not provided just yet.

The first cave, lit in crazy colours

The first cave is more popular with the tourists and was lit with lights in many different colours. The cave was spectacular, but the multi-coloured lights detracted from the brilliance of it and furthermore a fountain had been installed near the exit. Millions of years of erosion by the dripping of water and crashing of waves and they've gone and put a fountain right in the middle of the cave. The idea is ridiculous, not to mention damaging to the cave in the long run.

The second cave was much less visited by tourists and was far better than the first. It was not lit by ridiculous lights and it felt a lot less tainted by people. We had only 40 minutes to explore both caves as we had more to do and see that day so we headed back to the boat to avoid being left behind. We left the cave and the island behind and cruised into the karsts. The karsts are truly amazing. There is no proper way to describe them without failing to do them justice. Limestone mountains with sheer cliffs jut out of the sea and tower over everything beneath them.

The karst islands of Halong Bay

The inhabitants of Halong bay have a story almost as dramatic as that of the islands. Many of the people who inhabit the floating villages spread throughout Halong bay are born there, live there and die there, some never setting foot on dry land apart from the karsts. The next stop on the tour was at one of these villages where we were taken through a cave to a place where we could swim. It is at this point that I would like to add that the tour itself was not that good. The tour operators were misers of the worst kind and everyone on board was still hungry after every meal. For breakfast on the second day we had to share an omelet between 5 people. Sadly, this is a common occurrence in Vietnam. It is a deliberate tactic caused by an agreement between tour/bus/boat operators and restaurants/locals. The restaurant has a monopoly on food in an area and the bus/boat/tour operator brings hungry customers who are then forced to buy food. In this case the boat operator was also the snack stall owner so it was in his best interests to keep everyone hungry so they'd buy snacks.

The tour itinerary may not have been the best and the food may have been slim, but the only reason I went was to see the karsts and they certainly didn't disappoint me. Just being able to see this natural wonder was good enough for me. Spending a night on a boat amongst some of those limestone towers was a fantastic experience.

The next morning, after breakfast, we started our journey back to the harbour. The karsts were bathed in early-morning mist and were even more stunning than the day before. We stopped at the same village as the previous day to do some kayaking in exactly the same place as we'd taken the boat which was a bit annoying, but an experience nonetheless. After a measly allowance of 20 minutes on the kayaks we headed out of the karsts and back to the harbour for lunch. For once we were served a hearty meal and I polished off about six bowls of rice.

The karsts wrapped in a mist blanket

After a gratifyingly filling lunch, I waddled my rice belly over to the bus to commence the journey back to Hanoi. The bus driver nearly killed everyone on a number of occasions on the way back by playing chicken with trucks and other buses, but somehow we arrived intact.

We arrived back at 17:00 and had to catch a night train to Sapa at 20:35, so we showered and caught up with the rest of the world while we waited for the train. At 19:30 we made our way to the train station, found the right platform and got on the train. I was passed out within minutes of the train leaving the station and at 4:45 this morning was awoken and told we had arrived at Lao Cai on the Chinese border. We jumped off the train and onto a bus heading to Sapa and waited for it to leave. An hour later the bus departed for Sapa and 45 minutes after that we arrived.

In the past few days I've seen some of the most amazing sights and some of the most beautiful vistas Vietnam has to offer. Sapa is high in the mountains and we climbed through mist and fog to get here. Upon arrival at our hotel we were treated to the most magnificent views I have ever seen. Terraced fields occupy the sides of the surrounding mountains and mist was rising up the valley. We stood on a balcony above it all, breathed in the fresh mountain air and took in the incredible view. What a place!

Welcome to Sapa!

Oliver

P.S. I wrote this blog up yesterday, but wasn't able to add the pictures so everywhere you see the word 'today', substitute it with the word 'yesterday'. It may sound difficult, but I believe in you.

P.P.S Here are some more shots of the karsts for your enjoyment:

Cruising through the karsts

A floating village complete with school and bank

At low tide you can kayak though that little opening

You may not be able to see it, but on the right hand side
of the pic there is a cave that you can go through.

Re-hitting the Beaches

I'm back at the beach, as you would probably have gathered from the title of this blog. And by the beach I mean the city of Nha Trang. The drive from Da Lat to Nha Trang was out of this world. The bus cruised down and battled up one of the longest mountain passes I have ever seen. I've watched many a Tour de France and I can safely say that the pass we came down would probably kill everybody in the peleton. It wound for approximately 40 kilometres down the sides of mountains with waterfalls cascading down next to the road.

A view down the pass

The view from the top was stunning, but the bus driver wasn't stopping for anything but his lunch break so I had to snap that (left) while hanging out the window of a moving bus.
The drive after the incredible pass was not too impressive and involved a lot of hooting from our bus driver and other cars.

I arrived in Nha Trang, met up with Xan and Joe and arranged a room for the night. It was late the time I arrived, so I couldn't do much more than find a place to chow some food. After a really good bowl of Pho I headed back to the hotel with Gad and was told about a boat tour of four islands in Nha Trang's bay. It was very reasonably priced and looked like a lot of fun so Gad, Joe and I booked for the tour. Later that night I overheard a woman on the phone telling someone how much fun it was. I had wanted to see the giant, seated Buddha today but decided to postpone that until tomorrow.

I'm pleased to announce that the boat tour has gone into second place in the great experiences leaderboard, after the Easy Riders tour. It was an amazing day out on the bay and the tour guide was such a funny character. Bao was his name and he made the whole experience even better. He was full of jokes to share with the tourists and had the craziest laugh. I'm also pleased to announce he has taken second place in the tour-guides' leaderboard, Dunhill is almost impossible to outclass.

Island number one

The boat trip took us out of the harbour, under the cable-car to Vinpearl Land, to a small island far out in the bay. We stopped at this island and were told that we could snorkel there for an hour and a half. We were then given the least effective snorkel and goggle combination possible, but weren't really disappointed because there wasn't much to see. The water was post-card-esque (the only way to describe it) and was really warm. Needless to say, the swim was really refreshing and much-needed.

Bao and his boys...

On the way to the next stop lunch was served, hundreds of plates of food appeared on the table and everyone tucked in like it was their last meal. While we were eating lunch we arrived at the next stop, a floating platform just offshore from the second island. We were told we'd have two hours on this platform and were bitterly disappointed to hear that. The platform was really small and there was no way to get on to the island. We were sure it was a tactic to get tourists to rent an overpriced jetski for 15 minutes or take a boat ride at a ridiculous rate. Thankfully, tour-guide Bao proved us wrong. A few minutes after lunch, he announced the arrival of a Vietnamese boy band. The boy band consisted of three old-timers on guitar, bass and drums with Bao the lead singer. Bao entertained us with some local hits (and one of his own songs about his ex-girlfriend who weighed 100 kilos and broke his cyclo) before introducing the main attraction, a 'lady-boy' dancer and singer. They played a few well-known western numbers before packing up and announcing that the floating bar would now commence.

The floating bar was nothing short of epic. Bao had told everyone they'd be receiving a free cocktail from him in the floating bar. The floating bar was a ring of buoys tossed in the water and manned by Bao. Joe and I were the first people to take the plunge into the water from the deck and head over to the bar with our flotation devices. Bao produced his 'cocktail' which was served in plastic cups and was probably 80% vodka and 20% orange juice. I was sure he'd only give us one 'cocktail' each as that is what he'd told us. This was not the case. Bao literally poured the first cup of that vile stuff down my throat and proceeded to give me six more in the space of 5 minutes. After a 30 second swim back to the boat I was well and truly tipsy. Joe, Gad and I dived a few more times and soaked up some sun before the bar was packed up and the boat headed to the next stop.

The third island

We were charged to use the beach at the next island, but it was cheap and was well worth the money. We spent the two hours at the third island jumping and diving off a pier into the water below. Joe and I perfected the running swan dive and Gad got video evidence of it. There isn't much more to add about the third island except that we also sat in the shade of palm trees.

Between the third and fourth island, fruit was served. Watermelons and pineapples were devoured very quickly by all on board, but especially by us three who had worked up quite an appetite. At this point, to my relief, the 'cocktail' was wearing off and I could enjoy the sun beginning it's downward journey. The fourth island was a bit of a waste of time as it had an aquarium which nobody visited due to the ridiculous price of a ticket. Most of the people on the boat opted to have icecream and wait for the boat to leave for the harbour.

The trip back to the harbour was short and sweet. We said goodbye to Bao and thanked him for the great tour then got on a bus and headed back to our hotel. Upon arrival at the hotel I sat down and started writing this blog.

Keep your dong in your pants if you meet a lady-boy
Oliver

P.S. I've been asked to add a little bit about Crazy House as I didn't really explain it's origins too well. Crazy House was designed to look like a giant banyan tree, by the architect Dang Viet Nga. Each room has a theme (bear room, eagle room, etc) and can be rented out by people wishing to spend a night in the Crazy House. The inspiration for Crazy House is rumoured to come from the paintings of Salvador Dali. The garden contains concrete mushrooms, animals and flowers and has a strange, surreal atmosphere. It's basically a really weird place which people like to look at.

The Mekong River

Before I get to the crux of this blog post let me show you a little something I've been wanted to show you for a while:

The (in)famous bia hoi

And now for the crux.

I spent most of today on the Mekong River. I had to get up at a ridiculous hour this morning to get on a boat that would be taking me (us, as it turned out. A Canadian couple was also on the boat) on a trip along the Mekong River. The idea was that we'd catch the sunrise while on the river then head down to Cai Rang floating market followed by another floating market and then a meander back to Can Tho through the mangrove-lined canals.

I just killed the crus of my blog post, I've managed a synopsis of the day's events in a single paragraph, which happens to include the world's most ungainly sentence. But I digress.

The sunrise.

We set off really early, cruising down the river in the early morning light, waiting for what was supposed to be an amazing sunrise. Needless to say the sun rose, but certainly not amazingly. Something about it rising over construction cranes and steel pipes nullified the effect a bit. The sun definitely was a striking orange hue, but the setting let it down a bit. Honestly I blame bad timing on the sun's part, really. It was like timing a stage entrance to collide with one of the moving props. Sloppy, really.

Vietnamese madness on water. Cai Rang floating market.

With the sun letting the team down a bit, Cai Rang floating market needed to make up the lost ground. And it did just that. Cai Rang came out of nowhere with a stunning entrance to the sound of outboard motors and lapping waves (I'm extending my stage metaphor by the way). Hundreds of boats had moored near the bank of the river and their owners were peddling their wares to the surrounding boats. The market itself was incredible, but I must confess a little disappointment in the variety of wares available. Most boats were selling pineapples, watermelons and other fresh produce. With the exception of a few boats selling crabs or fish there was very little on offer besides fruit. Our guide bought a couple of pineapples and we navigated through the market for a while before heading off.

We ducked down a little canal shortly after leaving Cai Rang. It was in this fated place that I had an epiphany of epic proportions. We moored at a little Vietnamese coffee shop/sitdown place with coffee and tea... I don't know what you would call it. Restaurant certainly doesn't fit the bill. Anyway, we moored at this little place and got out of the boat. Our guide then took us to see how the Vietnamese people make the fabled Pho. We were able to see all the steps in the process and were quite amazed by how much work goes into making those delicious noodles. After gawking like idiots at the process we went back to the coffee shop. I'll call it a coffe shop from now on, it makes life a little easier for me.

An epiphany in a glass.

 So we sat down and a menu was produced. I'd heard that Vietnamese coffee is good, so I ordered a hot coffee. Ice coffee was also available, which is why I called is a hot coffee. A tiny, steaming glass of coffee arrived five minutes later bringing with it a rich aroma. That first sip was the start of the epiphany I mentioned. Vietnamese coffee is the greatest thing ever to grace the planet. It blew me away. It was rich and flavoursome, potent but not at all bitter. It was almost creamy in its texture. Quite plainly, it is the greatest thing that happened to me today. I left the coffee shop wanting to go back for more immediately. And at 10 000 dong (R3.50) a glass, I should have. But we had more of the tour to do.

The nest floating market we reached was smaller than Cai Rang, but a little more diverse. Apart from freshp fruit and veg, there were cloths and clothes available. We only spent long enough at this market to buy some carrots as there were very few boats there in comparison to Cai Rang. After our brief stop we headed off the Mekong river into a nearby canal. What lay ahead was a slow, peaceful meander down canals lined with mangroves. We puttered along, snaking back and forth with the river for a couple of hours until we reached another coffee shop/lunchy place. After the gentle cruise down the canals, sitting and having an ice coffee in the shade was pure bliss.

After nearly 8 hours of Mekong River cruising we arrived back at Can Tho. It was 1 o'clock and it was sweltering so I headed back to my guesthouse to cool off near a fan. I then dawdled my way around the riverside district and made my way to this internet cafe to blog about my day. I'm off now to have some chow.

I'm running out of dong jokes already

Oliver

P.S. Look what I spotted floating in the river. 

Pollution is pretty bad, but this is just ridiculous!

He shouldn't be smiling.